By Lauren Bauer
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October 2, 2023
At the age of 14, I was walking onto the big, scary high school campus that was over triple the size of my middle school. True to my over-achiever personality, I had signed up for the most challenging program my school had to offer. That alone could have had my schedule packed for hours but I chose to sign up for a few different after school clubs, join the swim team, do volunteer work, manage some semblance of a social life and make to-do lists as long as a CVS receipt. I’m not saying this to brag…I’m saying this because I genuinely believed packing as much as possible into my schedule and staying busy constantly was important; it’s what made you productive and successful. Quite honestly, I’m not even sure I could tell you why I believed this, I just knew it was what I “should” be doing. Now that I can reflect on this time in my life, I can’t say I was doing any one thing particularly great. I was just managing to keep my head afloat in many areas of my life, not doing any one at my best ability as a result. I would pull some late nights doing homework and studying, which inhibited how well I performed at swim practice. If I was more focused on doing well in swim, I might not spend as much time studying and so my grades would suffer. Many social activities weren’t purely social; they were a way to get together with friends while still studying for upcoming exams. This mindset purveyed throughout college and is still something that I wrestle with to this day. As a recovering over-achiever, I am still a goal-oriented person who wants to do well. But I have been working hard to reframe my approach. Instead of trying to do it all and falling short (I mean there is only so much time in a day) I prioritize simple habits daily. On the surface, they don’t seem like they do much but over time they make a big change. Making a To-do List…Not a Novel How often have you made a to-do list of twenty items, believing that you can get them all done in a day? Even when you only manage to get eight things done, you still somehow convince yourself that the next day will grant you more than 24 hours and you make your giant to-do list once more. They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. Well, call me insane because I think I thought I could defy time. Digging a little deeper, I think crossing items off of a huge checklist stems from being addicted to the feeling of productivity. I’ve even conned myself into feeling productive by crossing off a bunch of the little things on my list (doing the dishes, mail a letter, return a package) while avoiding the things that are actually crucial (setting up that doctor’s appointment, sitting down to make content for my business or preparing for an upcoming presentation). Truly, this is a form of productive procrastination which seems like the biggest oxymoron there ever was. I have developed a simple process to making my daily to-do lists that circumvent this productive procrastination cycle: 1. Make a to-do list. 2. Keep it brief. 3. Identify the “frog” of the list and eat it down. Ok, I was with you Lauren until the last one… Ok, let me explain. First of all, limit yourself to making a to-do list that actually matters. When you have twenty tasks on a list, they are not all essential by a long shot. If you limit yourself to five items, you are bound to put the five most important things that will truly make the biggest difference and provide the most relief once they are done. Out of those five items, identify the frog. This is the one item that is the most important to get done and often the one you want to do the least. Then you eat that damn frog. You do that item first so that you ensure it is complete. If you find yourself kicking the can down the road when it comes to doing your workout, this is likely your frog of the day. Creating Pillars in Your Routine How exactly do you pair things down on your list? Sometimes we feel that every. single. thing. on the list is imperative. How do you decide what to cut? A tactic I’ve used to manage this is creating pillars in your to-do list. Do you notice patterns of particular task categories that seem to continually appear on your agenda? For example, you always mark down your workout, business assignments and household chores almost daily. These can be parsed into general categories of fitness, business and daily clean-ups. These are your pillars; the items that repeatedly need to get done daily. I created a reoccurring daily reminders list in my phone that repopulates these pillars daily so that I make sure I am working on some task that contributes towards them. Another way to look at this, is to ask the question: do the tasks on my list align with my values? In other words, if you highly value having a clean home but are consistently pushing off household chores, does your task list actually reflect what you value? Sometimes we avoid tackling the things we actually care about because they seem overwhelming or we are scared of failing. When they are broken down into manageable and bite size pieces each day, it becomes much easier to tackle the tasks ahead. Are You Anchored or a Ship Lost at Sea? A day without an anchor might look like slapping your alarm clock 15 minutes before you have to leave for work, flying into the office just in time. It might look like scrolling on your phone late at night until you can’t possibly keep your eyes open or falling asleep to your favorite re-runs. In other words, there is no anchor that sets the tone for the day in the morning or wraps up the day in the evening. Creating a morning and evening routine can act as anchors that allow you to set how you’d like the day to look and reflect on how the day went. This small shift in how you approach your day gives you a greater sense of control versus letting the day happen to you. Currently, my sample morning and evening anchors look like this: Morning Anchor: - Coffee (always) - Daily mini-meditation and gratitude journaling Evening Anchor: -Dimming the lights/using candlelight or orange light in the evenings -Doing something soothing like pouring a hot cup of tea or doing some light stretching -Reflecting on what I did well and how I can improve as well as celebrating a win of someone else I interacted with during the day. -Reading or watching TV -Evening meditation before bed Meditation: Don’t Underestimate the Power of Doing Nothing For years I had heard that meditation was amazing and utterly life-changing. For me, it was utterly impossible. I would do it for a few days, and then drop off for a week before doing it for a few more days. Sometimes that week turned into a month until I tried to pick the habit back up again. This past year I decided that I would meditate for 10 minutes every single day, no excuses. I realized that part of the reason I was so incredibly inconsistent was because I didn’t see the productive value, since the results weren’t immediate. If I needed a lesson in delayed gratification, this was it. Rest and self-care were the easy items to cut out in comparison to all the important tasks I had to take care of. Once I made it a non-negotiable, I began to see the true benefit that meditation had to offer. There really is something to the whole consistency thing. After hours of meditation under my belt, I have begun to see that meditating is a way of life that extends outside of the ten-minute session I had committed to. It creates moments to slow down and be present. It focuses on letting things go and not being so reactive to the day. Little did I know that this small, dedicated amount of time gave back so much in the way of conserving my energy for things that truly mattered and keeping me more even keeled throughout the day. For a productivity junky, seeing the results of slowing down contributing to more productive time outside of meditation sessions…well…this became a no-brainer. Final Thoughts These habits don’t work for everyone but are simply an example of what I have found effective for me. When determining what habits you’d like to develop, I encourage you to ask yourself if you like how your days are going currently or do you feel out of control? If you feel out of control, what is one small bite-sized habit that you can implement to take a step towards building the life that you want?